what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
