No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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