Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
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After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
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remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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