ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
