i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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