i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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