You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
