I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I bet he comes in French.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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