then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
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just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize