did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
