dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
