Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
