she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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