do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
