We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
