youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
