Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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