This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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