I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
