so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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