PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
