I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
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Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
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There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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