Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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