You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
