So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
