Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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