i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
