I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
