I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
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Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
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IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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