i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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