forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
