He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think my moral compass just broke
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize