Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
