...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
