I'm pants shitting drunk right now
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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