So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize