Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
