Having a random hookup so left but love u
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just invented taco cereal.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
