I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
