Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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