69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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