You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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