omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
