Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
