The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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