You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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