You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Even my vagina gasped.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
