You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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