I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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