i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
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Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
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SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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