Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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