he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
