well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.