I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
her facebook's as public as her vagina
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.