if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES