yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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