It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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