I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize