We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
