She announced her abortion via fbk
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
