So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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