dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize